I Didn't Know You Could Move Like That - A Fat Dancer Chronicle

“I didn’t know you could move like that.” 

Those were the words one of my best friends’ moms said to me in high school. 

We just got off the stage from performing the musical that year. I was a senior.  

It’s no secret that I was a dancer. Most of my friends and acquaintances knew that as my identity. Amanda Montoni: the dancer and theatre one. 

We didn’t do a dance heavy show this year, but my role called for one high energy number. 

One of my best friends at the time was a few grades below me. It’s amazing how theatre brings people of all ages and walks of life together. We had a big social group that year and radiated endless love to each other. 

I still hold this musical experience very close to my heart, as it’s the first time I learned I could contribute to creating a supportive community. I didn’t get the “Musical Grandma, Wise and All Knowing Yoda” cast award for nothing. 

I also learned that there are good people out there who accept others for who they are. Me? I wasn’t just the dancer and theater one. I was the fat dancer and theatre one. 

So when my best friends’ mom saw me after the show and said “I didn’t know you could move like that,” the impossible body standards the dance world pushes on young girls came flooding back to punch me right in the heart. 

All of what I fought throughout my dance life, and I started when I was 2, was confirmed as a battle I would be fighting for years to come. 

When I became a dance teacher shortly after high school graduation, I thought about this comment as a flash in time. I thought about my friend group and the community we built. 

My punched heart kept beating for the little girls I was about to teach for the first time. I never wanted to make them feel anything less than enough. That’s what it comes down to, feeling like you’re enough. I wanted them to be fearless and go after all of their dreams, dance or not. 

I vowed to be a leader, and since I was a teacher, these kids saw me as a role model, whether I wanted to be one or not. I made it my mission to cultivate that sense of support and community I felt in my senior year in high school. That’s why I do what I do, for the hearts of kids everywhere. 

And when I moved on from teaching, it wasn’t because I was done. It was because I knew this was something way bigger and more important than myself. So I wrote my children’s book, Bella the Buck-Toothed Ballerina, to encourage little girls everywhere that they can reach for their dreams. I did, and I found success while believing that I was enough to do it. 

I adore 2 foundations that focus on empowering young girls that I decided to donate a portion of my book sales to. Girls Leadership and Inspiring Girls cultivate the hope for a brighter future. If you haven’t gotten a copy of my book, it’s available at my store.