It's My Mom's Fault - A Fat Dancer Chronicle

When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was move my feet and shake my booty. Apparently, I did this enough that my mother caved to my aunt's wishes. Next thing I knew, I was in my first dance class with my cousin. 

That didn’t last long. After the year, my mother decided that the studio was not the one she envisioned for my dance education. You see, my mom was (and still is) all about learning experiences full of quality and value. 

She wanted me to dance my heart out in a studio that focused on learning the art of dance. She wasn’t about a competition-driven studio. That would create an environment full of intense judgment and pressure. She wanted to avoid a place like the show Dance Moms at all costs. 

Mom was driven to find a nurturing, affordable studio close to home that concentrated on teaching the culture of dance to children of all ages and levels. I can’t thank her enough for that. 

My studio was my second home. I learned so much and had so much fun doing it. I was taught by a former Radio City Rockette and a highly regarded professional, so I knew I was getting a quality dance education. And it was all my Mom’s fault. 

However, the dance industry is judgmental in nature and since I was different from the other girls - I was the fat one - I did eventually compare myself to them at every turn. Ah, puberty. 

I felt insanely insecure about my weight. I would pop out of costumes because they weren’t made for girls that were anything but tall and skinny. Those bright ass sequence costumes were a size or two larger than my normal clothes. I looked like a freaking disco ball.

But the thing was, I was good. I’m still a great dancer, and I wouldn’t have gotten through it if my mother didn’t stick to her guns. After years of being the fat teacher in the very same studio I grew up in, I knew in my heart that I needed to get my message to more girls out there. 

I wrote Bella the Buck-Toothed Ballerina for all of the dancer dreamers who might begin to feel that their differences make them bad dancers. And all the more heartbreaking, bad people. 

Bella the Buck-Toothed Ballerina is my way of saying you can be whoever you want to be. You are beautiful the way you are. Keep dreaming. Keep working. Screw what everyone says about you. You know who you are on the inside, and that’s what matters most. 

My mission is to spread confidence and self-love in young humans around the world. They are the future. If I could change the performance world even just a tiny bit to a more welcoming and mentally pleasant one for the girls of the future, I could die happy knowing that I tried. 

Every purchase of Bella on my website includes a personal note and a percentage of the proceeds is donated to Inspiring Girls and Girls Leadership. Let’s make the dream gap an even smaller one.