Tap Dancing Saved Me
Hi. My name is Amanda Montoni and today I am introducing myself as a fat dancer.
This occupation was never intended, as I wasn’t always fat, nor did I expect dancing to be a huge part of my life. No pun intended. Okay, maybe a little intent was behind that one.
I never expected any of this. But am I mad about it? Absolutely not. First off, and most importantly, dancing is FUN. That alone outweighs the body embarrassment, the whispers behind my back, and the emotional rollercoaster of my teen years.
I had fun when I danced. If I was moving my body synchronized to music, I was happy. I smiled my truest smile while I moved. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of blood, sweat, and tears that inevitably come with the hard work it takes to be a dancer.
My feet were horrible. Ingrown toenails didn’t help the already beaten things at the end of my legs I relied on so heavily. I had callouses and still do. My feet used to look like a monster truck ran them over. I have taken a hiatus from dancing, but it doesn’t mean my love for it subsided.
The pain was worth it because when I danced, the pain went away. You see, it’s a never-ending cycle of give and take, cause and effect. The circle of life, if you will. The physical process hurt my feet but dancing also freed the hurt - physically and emotionally.
That’s a pretty great trade-off. So what does this have to do with Tap? I’ve said this for years: Tap is my favorite. There’s something so electrifying about creating and making rhythms and tones with mere parts of your feet.
Me at my heaviest doing a one-footed toe stand.
My feet and legs did a lot of overcompensating for my torso.
Tappers are composers, creating orchestrations with aluminum attached to the bottom of special leather-bound shoes. I always told my students “You’re like a drummer, but with your feet. The floor is the drum, and the shoes are the sticks. Let’s make music.” It’s exciting!
Imagine you’re 3 years old again. You’re in your first dance class and not sure what the heck to do with these weird shoes your teacher made you put on. Again, you’re 3 years old. All you want to do is have fun and play with things. Maybe even be a little reckless.
Then your dance teacher tells you to hit the floor with your metal and leather-shoed foot. A 3-year-old given shoes that make noise when they hit the floor? It’s like light-up sneakers but better. I do not doubt that you know the exact feeling of joy I’m talking about. That feeling is something I’ve felt my whole life, and I have the weird metal shoes to thank for it.
Tap is a genre that outshines the others, in my opinion. It stands out. Have you ever seen a Broadway show perform a Tap number? Have you ever seen a group of dancers making music with their feet together? It’s powerful, magical, and completely unique.
Every single dancer is on the exact same wavelength. Every single person has a hive mindset for those few minutes. They move together on the exact same beat to create the exact same amplified sound. It’s an orchestration and just as magical as watching a professional orchestra - maybe even a bit more magical than that.
Group Tap dancing is about working together to create and display something beautiful - not only to watch but to hear. It’s about pouring musicality out your feet through those special shoes and onto a stage. It’s about togetherness by way of isolating movements and sounds.
It’s the embodiment of togetherness, which is one of the main sources of joy in this world. It’s an outlet for expression. It’s an art form. It’s magic. This is why Tap is my favorite genre of dance. In many ways, Tap has kept me going and cheered me up when I was down.
It got me through my insane weight insecurity during my developmental years. I may have been fat, but I knew that Tap was there to say “Hey, your weight doesn’t matter. You can do this well. Let’s create magic.”
I must write an ode to it, and to Shirley Temple, for coining one of my favorite moves (which I used to refer to as “strawberries” but that’s a story for another blog post). It might have been one of the things that saved my Fat Life.
Did I get your heart pumping? If you want to give Tap a try, brush up on your skills, or simply feel the joy of your 3-year-old self, it just so happens that I’m teaching a Tap Workshop with Royal Star Theatre.
There are 3 chances for you to join in on the fun: May 22, 23, or 26. (Psst. There’s a special discount for all 3). Check out this Instagram post for all of the details. Don’t keep those feet waiting, email Royal Star Theatre at royalstar.theatre@gmail.com or DM me on Instagram today to register!
In the meantime, I’ve got to dust off my old teaching shoes. Time to feel the joy again!